I am a huge proponent for positive thinking. It has absolutely changed my life. Although we ALL fall victim to the "woe-is-me" mindset from time to time, I've been trying to really focus on what I want to happen in my life and where I want my life to go. Instead of thinking of the moment when I could barely make ends meet and was struggling to pay my bills, I focused on the day that was sure to come when I'd have money overflowing. Instead of focusing on my untimely descent from glorious positions to very basic roles, I focused on the corner office at the top of a building with a private elevator just for me. Instead of allowing myself to be bogged down by trying to fit into the mold that is the cookie cutter life of many people, I focused on being and loving myself, breaking out of the box I'd formerly allowed myself to be put in and embracing my unique ways.
All last year, during private conversations with my parents, I kept repeating the same things OVER and OVER again. To some people, I sounded a silly because they couldn't see what I could see. Several nights last year, I cried myself to sleep because I felt like I failure. In front of people, I wore I smile because I was afraid to show my weakness. But, at home, I was drowning in a sea of frustration. Still, I tried to keep myself uplifted and motivated. When I would fall into these funks, I'd put on Marvin Sapp and listen to him tell me that GOD sees the best in me when no one else can and, most importantly, that I have to keep praising him in advance. It's difficult to do sometimes, but I'd walk around singing those songs and my moods would go from gloomy to uplifted. I no longer felt overwhelmed by life's curve balls I felt empowered and ready to conquer the world... and that I did!
At night, when I close my eyes, I never envision a mediocre life for myself. I see a life of glitz and glam... cocktail parties and fundraisers and a high profile corporate position with a car to take me home at night. I see a house on the hills and a garage full of fast cars... Diamonds are girls best friend and, though I'm a classy, sophisticated woman in my own rights, they're my best friend too! I say it now with more clarity and sincerity than I ever did before... I'm a DIVA. Through and through.