I know I've already told you have incredibly difficult it has been for me over the years to forgive myself for past mistakes and bad decisions. Words hurt, no matter what anyone says, and some of the things that have been said to me are like spiderwebs. They seem weak and inconsequential, but they trap you. You have to know how to free yourself from the voices in your head.
Me... I'm my own biggest critic. I look at myself in the mirror everyday and try to uplift myself even though, secretly, I'm haunted by the ghost of my days gone by. Some days I feel like Cleopatra or Queen Elizabeth, and the world is my oyster. Other days, not so much. What I haven't yet told you is what has helped me to triumph through those bad days, those negative thoughts and difficult times.
Positive self talk is a must have in the life of every DIVA. Life gets hard sometimes, and it's so important to be able to talk yourself through all of the ups and downs. If you don't know about it yet, now is the perfect time to get into the habit of changing the way you think and talk to yourself. I'm going to give you some tips that have been helpful in my own journey to DIVAism. No, I'm not going to give you a whole list of pointers. This is just a few little changes you can make in your life that will have a huge impact on how you look at yourself and how you feel inside.
First and foremost, you have to recognize how often you say negative things to yourself, and how it affects you as a person. You have to be very honest with yourself in this process. Denial and sugarcoating are counterproductive. I took pictures of myself and wrote down all of the thoughts that came to my mind, negative and positive. Then I randomly chose topics that I can connect back to me and I, again, write down what I'm thinking of in reference to myself. It may seem silly, but you can't change your thoughts until you become aware of the negative words in your head and take control of them.
Now that you know what you think and how you think of yourself you have to replace those negative statements with positive ones. I took all of the negative things I thought of myself and wrote an opposite, optimistic statement so that I can use that instead of the annulling, jaundiced thought.
Lastly, I surround myself with positive energy. In addition to writing down topics, I wrote down situations that I commonly associate with those cynical, invalidating thoughts. If I find that I'm commonly thinking negative in a certain situation or under specific circumstances, I litteraly cut myself away from all of the nonsense. I didn't want to have to deal with it anymore and I chose to push myself away from them, so that I could continue to grow and appreciate myself.
I know this was just three short steps to understanding who you are and beginning to see yourself the way you want to be seen, but you have to start somewhere. Remember, you're only as good as the words you say to yourself and the words you think about in reference to yourself. Remember, Real DIVAS needn't turn to other people for confirmation of their own self worth. We just need to remind ourselves every once and awhile.