Day Twenty Four and Twenty Five... Visualize Your Goals and Live the Dream Today

So, you've finally taken some time to yourself to actually sit down and think about what you want out of life. Personal goals, financial goals, professional goals, etc. But now what? How do you actually get closer to achieving your goals, TODAY!

In June 2008, Oprah ran a show called "The Law of Attraction: Real-Life Stories". It was based on experiences from people that applied some of the principles that they learned in the infamous book The Secret. I'm sure you've all heard of it. Some of you have probably even read it. But how can you apply the principles that you've learned into your life today to help you create your own real-life success story? Author and mother of the positive thinking, Louise Hay, said that "The law of attraction is that our thinking creates and brings to us whatever we think about. It's as though every time we think a thought, every time we think a thought, every time we speak a word, the universe is listening and responding to us."

Think about it. What thoughts are you instilling in your mind and projecting into your own life? Are they positive thoughts? Are they negative thoughts? Are they certain or indecisive? Do you speak affirmatively or with negative connotations? These are the questions you want to ask yourself now that you're becoming familiar with the goals you've set out for yourself.

Beyond speaking and thinking positively, you need to VISUALIZE your dreams. Many people think it's enough to say or think “I want (_____)." They believe if they say it, that it is going to happen. The reality is that, if you don’t learn to focus in on your goals and actually visualize yourself doing those things, you’ll find it very difficult to get the things you desire out of life. Create a clear, profound image of yourself acting out the things you want in your life. When you visualize your dreams, you should be able to see yourself living your dreams. Be SPECIFIC and CONSISTENT.

According to Rebecca Turner, founder of The World of Lucid Dreaming, "if you spend your time thinking rich and fulfilling thoughts about your future, it follows that your brain will begin to believe that you have already experienced these things - and arm you with the capabilities to succeed in real life." Is that not AMAZING?! It's not enough to visualise things once. It has to be a regular part of your life until you are LIVING the dream you've been visualizing.

Now, of course, you can go about this using the traditional method of visualizing through your mind. But I personally think that a vision board should follow soon. A vision board is a physical manifestation of your dreams. I believe it's an important part of the process because, even when you aren't actively trying to meditate and visualize the things you want, if you catch a glimpse of it, your mind will automatically start to think about what you're seeing, what your eyes are VISUALIZING.

Because I'm a huge proponent of the vision board, I want to give you a a couple of resources to consider when creating your vision board. I was doing research so that I can update my own vision board and position myself for more success and more happiness in the upcoming years when I stumbled across two websites that I thought would be great for helping myself and others create their vision board.

1. The Vision Board Site (http://www.visionboardsite.com/) offers the only online COMPLETE tool to create, track & share your Vision Board, so I'm a huge fan.
2. I know the name Oprah resonates with people all over and the new O Dream Board is a free web-based application available to all Oprah.com members. It serves as a daily reminder of your aspirations and what you want your life to be. (http://www.oprah.com/spirit/O-Dream-Board-Envision-Your-Best-LifeTM)

These are just a couple of the websites that I found to be most helpful. I hope all of this information is being soaked up because, part of loving yourself is continuously trying to be a better person. Being a DIVA means staying at the top of your game but, to stay on top, you have to get to the top and visualizing your goals can catapult your life into the right direction!

Day Twenty Two and Twenty Three... Setting Effective Goals to Put You On a Path to Success

Dr. Steven Covey says that "Effective goal setting, and poor goal setting are the two biggest determining factor of success and failure in life." Think about that statement and ask yourself two simple, yet very thought provoking questions.

1. Am I happy with my level of success in life?
2. Have I been successful in accomplishing my goals in life?

Chances are that, after you ask these questions, if the answer to the first one is 'NO', then the answer to the second questions will be 'NO' also. Today, we're going to go over some basic pointers that will assist you in setting more effective goals and creating a level of success for yourself that you never imagined or dreamed possible. These tips can and should be applied to your personal, financial and professional life. 
When you set goals for your life, you should look at the big picture and ask yourself what you'd like to achieve in life. By thinking about what you'd like to accomplish with your life in the big picture, you can then hone in on what's important to you and make sure you're walking with a purpose. Take time to brainstorm and really ponder over these things. MindTools.com gives some areas to think about to effectively cover all of the areas in your life. Make sure the answers you give do not reflect the opinions of others, but your own true feelings.

• Career - What level do you want to reach in your career, or what do you want to achieve.
• Financial - How much do you want to earn, by what stage? How is this related to your career goals?
• Education - Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to have in order to achieve other goals?
• Family - Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent? How do you want to be seen by a partner or by members of your extended family?
• Artistic - Do you want to achieve any artistic goals?
• Attitude - Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? (If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.)
• Physical - Are there any athletic goals that you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?
• Pleasure - How do you want to enjoy yourself? (You should ensure that some of your life is for you!)
• Public Service - Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?

After you've had an opportunity to scribble down a few responses to each of the areas above, break it down into more realistic, bearable goals. I don't know about you, but my definition of success, greatness, and DIVAism is a hefty, multi-year process with many goals to be tackled along the way. For some, that can be a very difficult reality to face because they want more instant gratification. But it doesn't have to be so daunting if you accomplish smaller goals along the way. If you work on accomplishing smaller goals, you won't get discouraged and will stay motivated.

The last tip for today on effective goal setting for success is to use the Yale University "S.M.A.R.T." acronym when setting your goals. SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time framed. Make sure all of your goals meet those standards.

I know this was a lot of information to take in right now, but it's all to get you closer to your dreams. I know we all want to be successful DIVAs and there's nothing like good, strong goals to to show yourself how much you love yourself! After all, DIVAs like to stay on TOP of the world, so get to work on setting those goals to get you where you want to be, not keep you where you are! Make sure the goals you've set for your life keep pushing you higher and higher into DIVA status.

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Days Twenty and Twenty One... Stop Lying to Yourself and Let Go of the Past

I have a hard time letting go. No, not forgiving. Just letting go. I hate giving away or letting go of things that were given to me... even when I really don't want them anymore. Shoes, purses, clothes, knick knacks, and, yes, even hearts. Over the years, I've collected quite a few and, as terrible as it is to admit, I used to collect them. Not in a some sick way, but I could never quite let go.

I like to keep in touch with everyone, even my ex boyfriends if we ended our relationship amicably. Yes, that's right. I knew what was going on in the lives of all of my exes. Ok, ok... I only have three, but I know who their new girlfriends are, if things were working out, how many promotions they'd had, what they bought their mothers for Mother's Day, etc. etc. After all, they were my boyFRIEND. I reasoned with myself that we were, at one point, friends, so there was nothing wrong or weird about me maintaining a platonic relationship with them.

Although, technically, there isn't anything wrong with it, the real question here is "Why on earth was I keeping up with their lives? Every time I spoke to one of them, I was comparing the person in my life to them when, obviously, they were my EX for a reason. No wonder I kept getting the same kind of man. Funny how we tend to forget the reasons for our breakup in the first place over time. I could hardly move on with my own life for the sake of keeping up with theirs, and therein lies the problem.

How can you expect to move forward if you keep reliving and revisiting your past? You can't dwell on the past or you may miss the miracle of today. Now, everyday won't be a piece of cake. Sometimes, things will happen that will trigger the rewind button and make you encounter a blast from the past. I know because, today, I had a setback of my own.

Today, I saw a picture of my ex and his family. Not that I have to substantiate my actions, but I no longer keep up with him or his life, but his sister and I have so much love between us that I can not even imagine not having her in my life. It was through her Facebook page that I inadvertently saw a photograph of him. Now, seeing a picture of him does nothing to me, but when I saw the person with him in the picture, I almost had a conniption. I wasn't emotional, but I was upset. And I had to ask myself, what is it that I am really holding on to?

Thus the second part of the lesson... STOP LYING TO YOURSELF! Actually, I had to stop lying to myself. I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm being selfish. I don't even want this person in my life, but I wanted him to be as miserable as he made me. I wasn't jealous, I was angry that I'd allowed so many years of my life to be anchored to insecurities that he'd ushered in. While he was moving on with his life, I was still angry. Not only that, how can I say I've truly forgiven him and his actions if I really secretly harbor resentment and want him to suffer?

Instead of worrying about what's going on in his life, I need to focus on making my own life and happiness a priority. I need to focus on the things in my life that I can change, as opposed to things that are completely out of my control. More importantly, I need to be completely honest with myself about how I feel, why I feel those ways, and what I want. If you don't feel comfortable being honest to yourself, surely someone who has just met you and doesn't know you will be uncomfortable being honest with you also.

Being a DIVA means that you are on top of your game. Life is about growing and changing. Although I am here giving pointers to you, I'm still growing and evolving as a woman myself. Just as I took a situation from today and looked at it as an opportunity to continue to evolve and mold myself and my frame of mind, you too should look for opportunities to give yourself a reality check. Take a vow to stop lying to yourself today and let go of your past. Rebuild your life, starting with today! Be honest with yourself about where you came from, where you are and where you want to go. Keep looking for opportunities to grow, get and stay on top of your game. Keep living your life, DIVA style!

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Home After Three Days...

In my opinion, regardless of what religion you are, the holiday season is all about spending time with the people you love. And that's just what I did. 

Aside from spending the last three days running my own in home bakery to make a few nickels on the side, I made 3 Bacardi Rum Pound cakes, 4 Buttermilk pies, 3 Sweet Potato pies, and 2 batches of my FAVORITE Cranberry Oatmeal White Chocolate Chip cookies for my family. YUMMMMMMMMM

Anyways, I want play catch up. I know I missed three days of loving yourself... but I thought that we could possibly double up over the next few days. By Friday, we'll be back on track and ready to bring in the new year. So, let's get ready to bring in the New Year with a bang and get back learning how to love ourselves more!

Day Nineteen... What Do You Want

It's time to think about what you want for yourself and for your life. Yes, I know. You want a lot, and so do I. But it's important to establish personal goals and a real timeline for accomplishing them. That way, you're not just spinning your wheels. You're actually working towards something.

There's eleven more days until we enter the New Year and it's time to do some soul searching. In the past, I've been a bit afraid of failing. I'm a perfectionist and I want to succeed at everything. But I've had to learn to be reasonable with myself. I still believe I can accomplish anything I set my mind to, but I had to decide what I wanted to focus my energy on. I had to come up with a plan.

Last year, my goal was to finish my Bachelor degree and the two corresponding certifications, and that's what I did. I realized, though, I didn't have a plan for the 2nd half of the year. Really, I didn't have a plan, at all. Just the overall goal of graduating. And you know what they say... If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Did you have a plan for this last year, as far as what you wanted to accomplish? How detailed was it? If you did have a plan, you might be able to reflect upon it and cross off things that you were able to accomplish. If you made the same mistake I made, you probably didn't do much planning or create too much of a timeline. Just wrote down things you wanted to accomplish. 

Do you have a plan for this upcoming year? What about the next five years? It's easiest to look at your life in five year blocks and then break it down. While trying to plan my own personal goals for the next five years, I visited the www.skillstoolbox.com and looked at their "Goal Setting Process". They listed these six steps. Feel free to click on the links and get more information.

• Record Your Goals — Choose a goal or several goals and write them down

• Prioritize Your Goals — Order your goals in terms of importance

• Break Large Goals into Sub-Goals — Breaking down large goals helps make them more manageable

• Create a Timeline for your Goal — Decide on a reasonable time in which to complete your goal

• Breaking a Sub-goal into Tasks — Schedule a set of specific tasks to do that will help you achieve your goal

• Following Through — Without following through you can't reach your goal

Another key factor in creating your blueprint for success is speaking/writing goals down affirmatively. Speak of them as you see them playing out, not as wants or desires. By doing this, you create a sense of presence and reality in your goals. For example, one of my goals is to start engaging in public speaking. So, when I write my timeline for the next five years, somewhere along that line I will put "I speak to young women about the importance of loving one's self first."

Over the next week, I'll be going more in depth into the goal writing process. Your journey will become my journey and we can accomplish them together. Let's get ready for 2013 and the years to follow today! Diva style!

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Day Eighteen... Be Your Own Competition

I used to hate competing in any activity where I wasn't sure if I'd win. In high school, I did track for awhile, but I kept coming in second and third place. It drove me CRAZY! So, I quit. Yes, I know. That wasn't the right way to handle the situation, but it's how I dealt with situations before. If I couldn't measure up, I quit.

Then I woke up and had an epiphany. I asked myself, 'Why am I competing against someone else? I can never be them and they can never be me.' I literally made a conscious decision to stop comparing myself to others. I realized that, while I'm spending time watching what the next man is doing, I'm wasting valuable time that I could use to focus on my own success. For the first time in my life, I decided to go head to head with myself. And the result has been amazing.

So, today, stop worrying about what others are doing. Stop competing with people that you will never be. Focus on creating a better you. A more focused you will lead to a more successful you. Start comparing yourself and where you used to be to the current you and where you want to be. Do you see growth? Are you noticing changes? Are you growing? Wherever you are in life, seek to exceed that place in a specified time period. Write down your goals and set a time period. Then, focus your time on breaking your own schedule. Compete against yourself!

Day Seventeen... Take Some Me Time and DO YOU

I'm a busy woman. I get up and work out for about thirty minutes in the mornings... OK, OK. Not everyday, but I do try to go hard in the paint a few times a week. Then I work nine to eleven hours, come home and try not to fall asleep before I spend a little time at the Diva's Lounge. Somewhere in between, I have to dedicate time to laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping and cooking. I hardly have any time to myself... and I'm thinking of adding a Master in Business Administration program to my plate.

If your life is anything like mine, I'm sure you spend a lot of time running errands. Most of your days are spent working, and then you try to fit in the necessities around your work schedule. God forbid you have other people to look after, as well, because then you'd really have to squeeze in time to get the simple things in life done.

Occasionally, I have to work in some time just for me. I try to set aside Friday night and Saturday morning for my "ME TIME", but that doesn't always work out. I mean, a Diva's star shines the most in the dark night hours, and I'm no different. I have a sign in my house that says, "After my mani, pedi and facial, I just needed some ME TIME." So, tonight, I decided to do some things that I love. Yes, I love getting pampered, but it's not something I love to do. Reading, writing, and cooking... those are things that I love to do. And I did ALL of them tonight.

When was the last time you took some time and set it aside to just do you, whatever that entails? What do you love doing? Reading, writing, watching movies, having a pampering session? Maybe you want to take some time and paint your nails or relax outdoors. Whatever it is, do it. This month is about learning how to love yourself so that, come January 1st, you're already in the habit of doing things that PROVE you love yourself.

What better way to show yourself that you're in love with you than dedicating time to yourself. Take a few hours and spend some time with yourself doing whatever you like to do. Diva's have to take good care of themselves. So, relax a little and JUST DO YOU... DIVA STYLE!